做朋友

想不到，

我需要求朋友...

当我的朋友...

这，

就是人生...

其实

其实，

问题从来都没有解决。

一代传一代...

从当年开始，

就已经开始自己顾自己，

或

“自己顾自己友”

爽吗？

现在搞到这样~

3 to 4.

It's 3 years old.

Turning 4 years old soon.

What is IT?

My worst Nightmare.

The problem never being solved.

The one that work hard themselves get what they want.

;

The one feeling being abandoned...

Left one by one.

Who's fault?

Me?

Ya...

I am abandoned...

I am forgotten...

又是朋友...

朋友啊！

我知道这个世界不能少了你...

我很肯定！

但是，

你可以不要忘记我吗？

我很想，

很伤心而厚脸皮地告诉你，

我有利用价值的！

真的有！

请不要忘记我！

可以吗？

难道这就是，

缘分...

不管我多想，

可是，

缘分归缘分...

我不是你的好朋友...

直到如今，

我还是放不下，

你所说的话...

虽然失去记忆,

我忘不了...

我曾经痛过。

3 Stages

about Future Picture Upload.

1) Afterlife

Where will my Afterlife be?

"On the land under 50 fifty stars..."




2) The road to Afterlife

I don't know how long will be take to reach there.

But,

Technology advanced.

I won't be taking boat.




3) Before I die (already uploading...)

It's all about what I left when I "was" alive...

Hahaha~

Freedom

For now,

There are 3 freedom-s for me

One achieved.

One pending.

Last one... Emm...

I don't wish that I leave this place because of freedom...

As a record...

Last Saturday,

Finished my TOEFL exam..

So,

Happy!!! ^^

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Done my 1st reflexology session today, just now...

Ya...

Lol~

Treatment is about 40 minutes ++

Feel bored and keep thinking and thinking about other things.

Now,

Feeling weird and pain...

Weird because feeling unbalanced.

(And maybe that is the real balance...)

Pain is pain lo...

Haha!

笨的原因

其实，

我并不笨。

但为什么我这么笨？

应该是习惯了在家里封闭头脑的关系。

妈妈：“顺我者生逆我者死。”

父母的决定总是正确。

没有选择的权利。

没有机会选择。

不敢选择。

选择。

不想再想，

也不敢再想。

只有默默的接受。

我回想，

曾经告诉自己，

“宣布死亡！”

因为我真的太失望了。

我需要到冥界跑一趟，

找回自己...

因为，

又到另一个时间的旅程碑了。

到底，

这个前途，

是我的选择,

还是...

因为...

Randomly post..

Less Post = Less Emo

So,

But today's simply simply post...

Feel ok today...

Not much Emo already...

(Don't tickle me then'll be fine)

Just,

Letting go the bad feelings.

Because I understand.

Something's just can't change.

You already have this kind of thinking.

For so many years.

It's very hard to change.

I feel pity.

Even myself,

Sometime's just can't change so easily.

So,

I can forgive.

Because you are my friend.

I consider you as friend.

But,

Do you vice versa?

Last Day...

Last Day of ELS d...

View Pictures on my facebook... Thanks~

原因

只有一个原因...

我们，

不是好朋友...

选择...

分岔路了...

我决定要为了艺术，

放开一切，

做自己想做的...

我要学更多东西!!

------------------------------------------------------------------------

今天是糟糕的一天...

哈哈！

没关系...

明天再来...

ELS, 8th Day...

Lol~

What a day...

My Speaking did improved,

but need to add in some wonderful Vocab...

Just found out that a girl that same class with me,

just 15 years old!!!

But her English is good...

She knows how to use good vocab...

Geng!!!

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Few things happened today...

1) Piano teacher sicked... T_T~

2) I rent a piano near Subang there to practice,

But the piano... (=.=")

I prefer the one in my house...

3) Train was delayed,

And I can't get in when it arrived...

Zzzz...

4) Talked to a Iraq "Boy"

He claimed that is 18...

(my opinion is 30++)

He wanna study at Uniten,

Dunno wad wad Engineering.

But his mom sicked and he is going back.

He said his dad dunno wad wad travel at Itally.

He say his country is going to have election.

Will have a new government.

LOL~

5) Let a pair of couple sit together in the train... Lalalala~

What a day... Haha!

ELS, 6th Day...

The Sixth Day...

Ntg special...

Taking KTM is quite... Boring...

I can feel the shaking effect of the train right now... Zzzz....

Someone actually Farted on the train... He stood beside me... Zzzz...

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

I don't know why...

A force guided me...

Is this what is called as,

The power of GOD...

HE left me with pain,

so that I will choose,

the path...

Maybe that's the reason...

Why...

I am not invited...

Saturday Morning...

Saturday...

Will be another deadly day...

Hope I can get through it easily and usefully~

Enemies that once friend,

Came to find me...

Should I be pleased or disturbed?

Because,

This was what I once dreamed for...

People find me ask question and push me to the top...

But,

I don't have this stupid feeling anymore...

I feel lazy...

There's other thing worth me fighting for...

I can't compare arts,

It's terrible...

But,

I am happy with it...

4th Day.. ELS~

Wow,

Late post...

Eye witnessed an accident while the KTM's door is open...

Nothing special happened at ELS...

Maybe the fate is controlling me again...

Feeling so proud...

Not over proud,

But it's a thankful proud...

Thank you everybody...

Although I don't wish to list you all here...

T_T~

Work hard!!! Damn!!!

3rd day of ELS

Lol,

Myanmar boy absent... Got test...

Ntg special happened...

Just realized that on this earth got 3 Malays don't have common sense...

(I am not Racist!!!)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Haiz...

Haiz...

Haiz...

只能说，

“放开是一件好事！！！”

ELS, second day...

Today,

1 absent, 2 new people...

One malay boy, one chinese girl...

Ntg much special today...

Just normal class...

Just knew that the Myanmar boy is going to Canada to study Engineering... LOL~

Helped a lady to press "Open" button on train at Midvalley station... LOL~

Good Luck everyone~

1st Day at ELS

Just found out that.

That Subang ELS is so near to Subang's Taylor.

1st Day,

4 Human

3 Guys, 1 Girl, 1 Female Teacher

3 Chinese 1 "Myanmarist"

No distinct age difference...

TOEFL is...

Boringly Hard!!!

Alot of Vocab...

Have to memorize set of words start from "A-Z"

Each set about 40words

Teacher say,

"there will be words on the passage you never seen in your life..."

=.="~

Ntg to say...

Good Luck~

Q & A

如果感觉正确...

你问我，

“你漏了什么东西在我家吗？”

我会说 :

“我的心。”

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

你或许不会明白吧~

没关系，

这是缘分的问题...

滑过嘴角...

"我爱你"

每天晚上

不用我教你也会讲...

但是，

“我们一起走吧！”

这么天真无邪的话...

=

一万倍的难度...

我还在等待...

等到我离开的那一刻...

我才会放弃！

我答应！

不要丢下我...

可不可以，

我们一起走，

不要丢下我一个...

可以吗？

还有他呢...

我...

没有价值吧？

你们却说不是...

到底...

你们为什么...

比我更早踏进一步？

买多一本

我永远都记得，

妳可以买多一本，

给我...

可是妳“忘记”了——我

为什么？

我问妳的时候，

妳却无言...

很感谢认识妳这个朋友...

...

觉得，

朋友们越离越远。

难道是我的错？

还是我需要再踩出更多步？

难道我需要走99%的路，

让它们完成1%？

还是，

这是个训练？

为了准备过孤独的生活？

非常想把握，

与朋友们相聚的机会...

因为，

我真的害怕孤单...

我永远都不明白...

永远，

都不能明白...

努力，

全都埋在马桶下...

粪

被人画在纸上,

高高举起，

大家鼓掌...

我，

只能被朋友劝告，

“你，要想象你是 ‘零’ 的，你不拥有任何东西...”

是的，

每一天一早起床，

我的记忆就消失了大部分...

就好像我重来没有拥有任何东西...

每次看到不同的事物，

不同的人，

都会勾起痛苦的回忆...

（你们都觉得我很有问题吧？哈哈哈~）

（多重人格的后果...）

其实我并没有想这么多啦，

不要理我的人，

去！去！去！

走开~~~~~~~~~

Friend Degrade...

You say we are friends for "n"-years

We've done great things together...

And so so so so~




Do you really concern about me?

When I asked you for answers,

Have you answered me?

Sometimes yes,

Sometimes no,

Are those questions too sensitive?

"It's just, what do you think about me?"




You really on my side?

Guess no...




Sorry, you are degraded in my friend's level...

超级乱的头脑！

有时候，

静静不出声...

好过乱乱说话...

我的本性 : “小事变大时，大事变天下事~”

我能够把很简单的东西，

想到很没有道理，

超级复杂...

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

我

是个永远都感觉不到安全感的人...

因为，

我将每个人的一举一动，

都看在眼里,

害怕被人暗杀...

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

有些问题，

或许我真的不知道怎么去回答你，

有时候是害怕回答了以后，害了你...

对不起, 我的朋友们~

“江山易改本性难移”,

但我会尽力...

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

趁现在，

思念，伤心，痛心...

穷人(我不算？XD)

(Inspired by Chan Jin Shing)

突然感到很激动！

“““穷人”””

（比较没有钱的，我算吧？我永远都记得，还有比我更惨的...）

我,

每一天的

衣食住行、未来、需求、欲望、思想、etc..

衣 : 我新年才会去Shopping, 所以我很不会选衣服的. 家里很多穿着都是妈妈在Pasar买的.

食 : 我，偶然才会在外头吃超过RM20，尽力减少.

住 : 不能要求更多了，你还想怎么样？

行 : 我有乱乱跑来跑去吗？(想回去，以前搭火车去Kasturi真的超贵!!)

未来 : 想都不敢想！随缘...

需求 : 我需要调我钢琴.

欲望 : 我要Grand Piano, 更多的, 你问我要什么？女朋友？老婆？哈哈！我答不出.

思想 : 等时间过，练钢琴，练练练... 要传授弟弟我的功夫... 要对亲戚，家人，朋友好... 尽力做到最公平... 要谢谢对自己有恩惠的人... 对讨厌的人，要看开一点，他们没办法了... 要记得自己的一些原则...

以上的要点，

漏了或不满意的告诉我！

Sad Romantic Period

突然

仇恨消失...

开始，

想念你们...

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

艺术家，

生活...

都是这么孤单的吗？=(

离开...

我，

再也不会介意，

之后我会失去多少...

不会介意，

到底，

你们还会不会记得我...

因为...

我已经放弃了你们...

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

雨

“你”会停下吗？

Solo

I don't need your attention anymore...

I don't need any appreciation...

Thanks for everything...

I have to leave...

Sorry...

Bye!

Birthday Trip...

Haha!

Enjoyed myself at Penang...

OMG...

Here's the summary...

1st time travelling alone...

(Guess I won't be so stupid again... Crazy!!)

1st time spent so much time with a girl...(Really)

1st time watch movie with a girl...(Yup)

1st time eat something very slowly...(Serious)

1st time walking without stress...(Wow~)

1st time eat "real real" Korean food? Haha!

1st time surrounded by alot big big houses...(Walao eh, I tell you ah......)

1st time enter a big big big big big house.

(wish to faint in it... T_T~)

1st time drink hot chocolate?(ZOMG)

1st time in contact with a big big big dog but didn't bark at me..(Love It) ^^

1st time touches an Ipad...(My God *faint*)

Haha!

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

People To Thank:

1) Parents : Letting me out... Haha!

2) My Aunt and her family : Letting me staying at her house... And bring me here eat there eat eat eat eat... Paiseh paiseh... ^^

3) My Cousin Bro's Girlfriend's Mom : Buying me a cake after ate Chow Kuey Teow~ Paiseh arh~~ T_T~ The Cake so nice!!!

4) My friends : Hanging out with me... (Especially WuanXin T_T)

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

(From Facebook...)

Ee Wen really looks sexy when she was pressing the soda dispenser and looking at the monitor... XD

Hui Jing is extremely polite... Oh My God... Haha!

Zi Thung still sounds high pitch... Cute cute chubby voice... LOL~

Really have to Thank WuanXin for driving me around... It's a safe journey... Thanks Thanks!!!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The trip was wonderful!!

Miss everything so much~

Although Penang is small and "discrete",(What?!?!?! Joking... ^^)

It's really convenient to travel around...

Keep eat eat eat eat eat eat...

Love it so much! :p

Sweet 18...

The Decision...

谁说

要对“事”不对“人”?

“事”

也是人造出来的

我就是不爽

“人”

... ...

我

不愿意分时间出来，

选择离开...

默默地...

消失...

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

谢谢你们，

让我学会很多东西...

获益太大了...

失望也好大...

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

（抽象）

我不想再当渔夫了...

You doesn't deserve it...

Maybe,

I shouldn't be trusting you from the beginning...

I have a strong feeling that you never loyal to me...

I...

Over trusted you...

Not again!

一失足成千古恨

你，

的动作，

让我开始对...

妳，

有偏见...

虽然我觉得很对不起妳，

但我也有我的原则...

结论

谁说话可以乱乱说?

这就是后果！

Friends?

Friends?

Haha! Haha! Haha!

Maybe we are just Allies...

We are fighting together,

But I don't have team...

Impact...

The impact is like an atomic bomb...

The impact was spectacular...

Left the radiation behind...

I...

Still suffer the pain...

Maybe it's time to take another dos...

I wish to recover myself...

下雨

下雨了...

越下越大了...

输了

我输了。。。

还是静静别出声吧。。。

对不起，朋友。。。

Following Orders...

I flashed back memory...

I just realized that,

Throughout my life...

I'm just following orders.

Winning in APHF2010?

I never received that order...

To practice piano more,

I received more than needed...

I got nothing to blame...

火车到站了...

这回，

火车真的到站了...

上车的上车，

下车的下车...

（我四周瞭望）

天掉下来的票，

是福是灾？

车也到了...

为什么不要上车？

犹豫不决...

我觉得...

我还可以寄名片回来的啊？！

四个字

放 下 身 段

Start from the Origin

Elevator

Every morning throughout trip of APHF,

I will take elevator to go back to my room...

Elevator,

Is the warmest place...

Inside without Air-Conditioner.

Make it warm after being freeze by the powerful Air-Conditioner of room...

Elevator has 3 mirrors...

I always look at the one opposite of me...

Thinking...

What have I done wrong...

What shall I do later...

Sad...

I hold tight my pillow and blanket...

Can't cry...

What I want...

What I want?

Simple...

Do you appreciate me?

If you wish me to do better,

You have to appreciate me...

I need to get full motivation from you...

And I will work hard.



But why...

No people appreciate me?

I cannot understand...

Am I too weak?

Yes! , BUT WHY?



I have to do some action?

Keep saying something other people love hear?

Action like those "sampat sampat" human?

I am not!

I can't do it...

Dengz!...



I just want appreciation...

It's Week 31. Tuesday Night...

Comment for APHF Trip:

The Best Nightmare ever happened in my life...

Guess why?

I dream about it before it happens...

It's so real in the dream.

But you can't remember a thing after dream.

The Rule of Love...

I will never get a girlfriend or wife, I guess...

A girl maybe love me but I can't love her...

Because,

When I loved her,

She would be in love with another man...

I guess this is rule...

Week 29, Tuesday...

Ponteng SEKOLAH...

Practiced Harmonica @ Somewhere in Klang...

-Solo Piece-

"Intermezzo Giocoso"-Rudolf Wurthner-

Wondering about...

Coach said,

"Doesn't mean you get the First Prize you will be recognized."

First Prize is just a bonus.

Somehow,

Can't accept what he said...

Then what's wrong with me?

If,

I am not too weak,

I didn't win a prize...

Why just no people want to talk to me?

Ya,

Got!

When they need help...

Emergency...

Maybe that's my function...

Handle emergency situation...

Or,

I don't have the skill of communicating?

WHAT'S WRONG?!?!

YER!

Week 28, Saturday...

The Rule of My Life...

Draft No.1

{(RESET) x (n-times) + [Lose(50%) or Win(50%)]) + Luck} = 0

It's balanced...

Week 28, The Friday...

It's just pain...

And I am again, caught in misery...

Can't understand why...

The one who lose should be me?

No luck should be me?

or...

I am not hardworking?

Maybe...

I done too much sins in my past...

Now it is the "pay-back" time...

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I respect people...

No matter how you do to me,

If I feel insulted,

I will take it as payback for my sins in past...

I will not angry with you...

I feel sorry for you...

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

WHAT'S WRONG?!?!?!

YER!!

选择...

瓶子被装满了，就不能再装水 ；如果瓶子是空的，你就可以装水？

如果你选择好的开始，就没有机会进步？；如果你选择不好的开始，就还有得进步？

选择废材会变成天才？；选择天才会变成废材？

到底是什么问题？！？！？！

未来的武士...

（抽象）

未来，

武士已经找到了方法，

能够使用近身武器，

抵挡子弹的攻击...

枪

变成了废铁...

被,

武士抛弃...

Week 27, Tuesday...

(非常抽象）

孤独的战争...

一个人对垒一座城堡...

望后去，

是死去的家园...

一无所有...

却想不到，

城堡被自己一手攻下、毁了...

自己还活着...

全换不回，

国家，

无辜百姓，

爱人...

呐喊，

没人能听得见...

躺在爱人旁，

拔刀，

腹部而过...

倒下...

好舒服...

(非常抽象）

David Choi, That Girl Lyrics...

Oh, tonight I'm feeling fine

I'm alone, just wasting time

No Friday movie nights

Or romantic candle lights

I'm just having conversations

With the thoughts in my head

All I hear are angels crying

Oh, won't they just sing instead

It would be wrong for me to say

I don't need that girl by my side

I don't need that girl in my life

I don't want to talk it out

Or hold her when she cries

I don't want to say she's my kind

I don't want to say that she's mine

I don't want to tell her that

I love her more than life

More than life, Yeah

Love her more than life

Yeah, yeah, yeah

Honestly, this won't do

How is she doing?

I tell myself I'm feeling swell

But I know I'm such a fool

I could take it as a new beginning

But you know I don't feel that way

Who will take all this pain away?

I know it's wrong for me to say

I don't need that girl by my side

I don't need that girl in my life

I don't want to talk it out

Or hold her when she cries

I don't want to say she's my kind

I don't want to say that she's mine

I don't want to tell her that

I love her more than life

More than life, Yeah

Love her more than life

Yeah, yeah, yeah

Talk about a sin

Was the day I walked into the other side

I would run back in

I wouldn't waste no time

I know it's wrong for me to say

I don't need that girl by my side

I don't need that girl in my life

I don't want to talk it out

Or hold her when she cries

I don't want to say she's my kind

I don't want to say that she's mine

I don't want to tell her that

I love her more than life

More than life, Yeah

Love her more than life

Yeah, yeah, yeah

Chopin's words...

(Extracted from a book about what Fredric Chopin said...)

Kalkbrenner's method of playing from the wrist only is wrong. Forearm and upper arm should be used in addition to the wrist, hand and fingers.

Suppleness is of extreme importance. (During Chopin's first lessons with a pupil his most-used words were "Easily... easily.")

Do not use a flat hand. Ease of movement is impossible if the fingers are outstretched.

Kalkbrenner was also wrong in advising his pupils to read a newspaper while practicing technical exercises. No! said Chopin. Practicing demands intensity and concentration. It is not purely mechanical.

Avoid muscle fatigue. Chopin feared the abrutissement of his pupils--the stupor bought on by overpractice. He recommended no more than three hours daily.

The correct use of the pedal remains a study for life.

Concentrate on legato. Hear great singers(Pasta or Rubini).

天才，

有时候石头里爆出来，

;

有时候，

你要需要雕刻一块石头，

精心照顾，

可能有一天，

还有机会，

会变成金...

；

如果你根本就不愿意理...

...

...

...

就让它安心地腐化吧...

再见了...

Week 24, Friday...

I got strong feeling that today is like Saturday...

Tomorrow will be the day to die...

Haiz...

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

If,

Anti-Fate

Is written in your fate.

What will be the real meaning of your Fate?

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I am not a pro one I guess...

If

I am pro enough...

I would have being well used by others...

I am not pro enough...

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I think I still dunno how to survive by my ownself...

I don't even have the chance to prove myself that I can control myself...

Maybe this is the reason that I can't even grow...

No people can change this...

You tell me what to do lo?

Controlled by 2 people...

I am just a machine...

Without feelings...

Following orders...

Love

(Metaphor...)

As time pass by,

I walked around...

I saw some scattered pieces of glass.

Picked it up...

I joined those pieces of glass...

Glues and Glasses.

I have strong imagination on the shape that will form.

I know that positive thinking will make everything right!

I know I wanted a LOVE shape...

Day passed...

I can finally see the shape started to form.

I keep believing it!

I keep it in a safe place.

One day,

Earthquaked...

My LOVE,

Fell to the ground and scattered...

It's just like dream.

Everything have to start again...

I...

Given up...

Week 23, Wednesday, Holiday...

He was an old friend...

I didn't saw him for a few years...

But,

Suddenly he "pop-ed" out and became my enemy...

(literally...)

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Love can't be forced...

Forced love is not love...

(literally...)

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

There's always an exception...

Just depend,

Have you discovered it?

Good Luck...

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

THIS HOLIDAY IS TORTURING MY SOUL!!!!

Week 23...

60 Days left?

DAMN NICE!

52 Days left?

Woohoo~

3 days of December?

Wakao eh...

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

I am easily influenced

Because of a Small Thing.

It created curiosity in me,

and every time I think about it,

I will ask myself.

What happened?

Am I not good enough?

What am I lacking?

More Confidence?

More Action?

More Mature?

More Cruel?

The most logical thinking can't even help!

This Earth is wierd...

Or this is Fate...

Never gonna touch a girl?

Week 22, Tuesday...

(THIS IS A STUPID JOKE)

I:"Father please forgive me for I have Sin(Xin)

Father:"Yes my son, you have been forgiven, from now on, your name will be "Chan Zhong", for your Sin(Xin) has been forgiven..."

XD

Credits go to LZH...

Thanks Man...

Lol...

Week 22, Monday...

美好幸福的感觉，

可能就是这样吧，

虽然她不属于我，

真正的会更好吧？

继续等...